Sweet Things To Do With Young Kids To Help Them Cope With A Parent’s Deployment
Little Acts Of Love To Ease The Distance!
When you’re raising kids in a military family, there’s no way around it, deployments are hard.
I won’t sugarcoat it. Watching my three boys say goodbye to their dad is one of the most gut-wrenching parts of this lifestyle. It’s emotional for me, of course, but it’s especially hard on the kids.
Over the years, I’ve learned that while I can’t take away the ache of missing him, I can help my boys cope in ways that give them comfort, structure, and a sense of connection.
It doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, some of the sweetest things we’ve done together are the simplest — little traditions that remind them their dad loves them, even from far away.
Here are some of the most meaningful things we’ve done (and continue to do) to make deployments a little easier on their tender hearts.
1. Countdowns That Feel Fun, Not Heavy
Instead of staring at the calendar and waiting for the days to tick by, we make a paper chain or a jar of marbles. Each day the kids take off a link or move one marble from the “deployment” jar into the “homecoming” jar. Watching progress in a tangible way helps, and it turns waiting into something visual and hopeful.
2. Daddy Dolls & Pillows
You can order “daddy dolls” printed with a picture of your spouse in uniform, or even just slip a photo into a pillowcase. My boys sleep better when they can hold something that feels like Dad is still close.
3. Recordable Storybooks
Hallmark and other companies sell recordable storybooks where the deployed parent records their voice reading. Bedtime is always softer when it’s Dad’s voice saying “I love you” at the end of the story.
4. Write Letters Together
Even when email and video calls are available, there’s something special about handwritten letters. The boys draw pictures, write jokes, and tell their dad about their day. It becomes a ritual we all look forward to, and it keeps communication simple.
5. Deployment Journal For Each Child
We keep a little notebook for each of the kids. They use it to write down things they want to tell Dad when he calls, or just feelings they’re working through. It helps them feel heard even on the days when time zones make calls impossible.
6. “Special Days With Mom”
To balance out the heavy feelings, I try to plan small traditions with the boys, maybe Friday night pizza and a movie, or pancake Saturday mornings. It doesn’t replace Dad, but it does give us something steady and comforting while he’s away.
7. Video Messages Back And Forth
If the connection allows, short little videos are gold. Even a “good morning” or “I saw a bird today” from Dad can light up their faces. And we send silly videos back, too. It creates a thread of everyday life, not just the big updates.
8. Homecoming Box
One of our favorite coping tricks is to start a “homecoming box.” Throughout the deployment, the boys add little drawings, crafts, or funny stories they want to share when Dad comes home. It keeps them focused on the joy of reunion instead of just the absence.
9. Pray Together Every Night
Our family leans on faith, so nightly prayer for Dad’s safety and for our hearts to stay strong has been a lifeline. It anchors the boys and gives them comfort knowing they can talk to God about their feelings.
10. Celebrate Milestones Anyway
Birthdays, school awards, and holidays can feel empty without Dad. But I’ve learned it’s important to celebrate anyway, and then share photos and videos with him. It shows the kids that life keeps going, and Dad will be proud when he sees all they’ve done.
The Takeaway
Deployment will never be easy, but little traditions and intentional moments help cushion the hard edges. It’s not about “fixing” the sadness, it’s about creating connection, joy, and hope along the way.
Our kids need to know that it’s okay to miss Dad and still smile, laugh, and make memories. That’s how we keep our family strong through the seasons apart.
Share The Love
Do you know another military spouse mama walking through deployment with little ones? Share this post with her today. Sometimes the smallest encouragement makes the biggest difference.
